One of my favorite things I’ve learned in the years of living/ traveling abroad is that you must have the ability to stay flexible, move around obstacles, and go with the flow. The Western Way of rigidity and always having to be in control is not even an option where I live, and after being immersed in other Eastern cultures, I have an entirely new respect for getting things done fluidly. My biggest takeaway is learning how to be more flexible in my life, and in my business.
Here are a couple of examples that might help to illustrate my point.
Drive Against Traffic
Let’s start with the driving here, in Thailand. Back home, in the US, when someone drives on a two-lane road, there are two ways you can go. In Asia, there are four. You can drive into oncoming traffic on either side of the road for a brief period of time.
Sound unsafe? It’s actually not. It makes more sense. If I want to go to something that is nearby, crossing the oncoming traffic twice is silly, causes traffic jams, and takes about 4 times as long.
Expect the Unexpected
Also, when you turn onto the road, you don’t need to look, you just go. The reason why this works is because everyone here is Expecting you to drive that way. There is a full understanding that people will see you, and drive around you. When someone is driving toward you, you move over, and the other people move around you.
The result? The traffic is moving. You get to your destination faster, and… people are smiling.
Laugh, then move out of the way
I live on a dirt road with a very tight hairpin turn. The likelihood of hitting someone full-on coming around the corner is about 25% every time I leave or come home. But, I’ve never been in an accident. In fact, I’ve had several near run-ins and the other person’s immediate reaction is not to stop, lay on the horn and get mad. It’s the total opposite. Their reaction is to laugh, and move out of the way. And, because I’ve been here as long as I have, that is exactly my reaction, too.
How many times in our life are we making things too difficult for ourselves or others because of our own rigidity?
What if our natural response to opposition was to just laugh and move around it?
Here is another example:
The “Maybe Sink”
When I came back from my around the world trip, I was looking for a bungalow to move into. One of my favorite things about Thailand is that you can just rock up, and in the same day, get your house, motorbike, and everything you need set up the same day. I found a bungalow I liked, and one of my friend’s had stayed in last season. After I had agreed to move in and given my rent and deposit to the owner, I remembered something. My friend had told me that one of the things wrong with that bungalow was that there was no sink. Like, in the entire bungalow.
Shit. I’m going to live in a place with No Sink. How will that even work??
The next day, I confirmed that the ‘no sink’ issue was true. I asked the landlord about the sink, and here is our conversation. His name is N. Yes, like the letter.
Me: Sawadee Ka (hello)
N: Sawadee Kup (hello)
Me: No sink? (pointing at where a sink should be)
N: No. Cannot.
Me: Hmmm. Maybe sink?
N: (laughing) Maybe.
Me: Ok, ka (thanks)
So, I did not have a sink, I had a Maybe Sink. Which, is one step closer to a sink than I was before. You see, in Thailand, no matter is resolved with conflict or becoming defensive. In fact, that is such the antithesis of how things happen here that you will never, ever get what you want if you approach something that way. You need to be more flexible. So we laughed, and smiled, and I waited to see what would happen.
The next day I saw N and he waved me down smiling. “I have sink for you!!”
Awesome. Two days later, the “Maybe Sink” was installed and became the Reality Sink.
How To Be More Flexible & Get What You Want
I hope that you can see from these two examples that by being bendy and flexible are actually Good qualities. If I drove forcefully here, I’d be dead. If I decided to find another place to live, I’d be missing my super awesome mountain view bungalow I now sport with my new Maybe Sink.
I realize that these qualities are not as treasured in the Western world, which is exactly why I wanted to write this post. Take some time to assess your life now and determine how to become more flexible. Need some coaching in this area? Give me a shout.
