Why do people move?
What makes them uproot and leave everything they’ve known for a great unknown beyond the horizon?
Why climb this Mount Everest of formalities that makes you feel like a beggar?
Why enter this jungle of foreignness where everything is new, strange and difficult?
The answer is the same the world over: people move in the hope of finding a better life.
-Yann Martel, Life of Pi
How far would you go to find a better life?
To what extent would you allow yourself to reinvent your life and rediscover who you are and what you really want?
Taking a journey of self-discovery is the most rewarding thing you can do with your life. You will learn more about your thought patterns and limiting behaviors, realize who you are apart from other people’s expectations, and learn to let go of everything that is important to you. Many people fear being alone. But you can only truly discover who you are by taking yourself out of your normal environment and face your fears, head on.
I once read: do what you fear the most. I questioned this philosophy and realized it made perfect sense; when you recognize you’re afraid of something, you have an opportunity to confront that fear and move past it. By addressing your fear, you clear old behaviors and renew yourself. More becomes possible when you remove the fear.
The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart.
I believe we are put on this earth to live our mission and overcome our fears. Sometimes this comes to us in stages, but often times it comes to us through crisis. We become broken down by circumstance—which forces us to reevaluate our life. When we face these questions, we demand answers. But oftentimes, we are forced to move through challenging situations and find the answers by facing our fears.
What We Fear Most
With each article I have read on fear, I have noticed a consistent theme: Fear is a perception that exists only in your imagination. If we imagine something to be scary, then we believe it is scary. The mind has no way of distinguishing between fanciful thoughts and reality. It is based on conditioning and experience. Therefore, the best way to conquer your fears is to adjust your mindset and face the fear head on.
1. Fear of Losing Everything
Every single thing I value in life has been destroyed. And I am allowed no explanation? I am to suffer hell without any account from heaven? In that case, what is the purpose of reason…? Is it no more than to shine at practicalities—the getting of food, clothing and shelter? Why can’t reason give greater answers? Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in an answer?
Are you afraid of losing everything? Many of us stress ourselves out because we feel like we might lose it all. This fear creates constant uneasiness about our ability to maintain our basic needs. Fear creates a fictitious solitary stance in the world; we believe we are in this on our own, and must always fend for ourselves. Even in the crisis of ‘losing everything’, the reality is that other people would come to our aid. We have friends, family, and loved ones that would step up and see us through a rough period. So stop worrying! Even if you did lose everything, you wouldn’t lose your support system and networks.
2. Fear of Being Alone
I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always.
In the book, Life of Pi, the main character, Pi, is traveling with his family via a large cargo ship from India to Canada. His family runs a zoo and is transferring many of the animals to a zoo in Canada. During the trip, the ship begins to sink and many of the animals are released into the ocean. Pi manages to take refuge on a rescue boat with several of the animals. Within a few moments, he watched the boat sink with his family on board and was trapped in a boat with a zebra, hyena, orangutan, and a Bengal Tiger. Imagine the fear and utter confusion you would feel in this situation!
In our lives, we are never really alone. There are internet connections, family and friends, social networks and people we can rely upon to get back on our feet. While our situation might be scary or unfavorable, there are ALWAYS other people around to support us and get us through our fears. Most of the time when a situation presents itself where we feel alone, it is only an opportunity to recognize a fear, and move forward in our lives by confronting what scares us. This process feels lonely because facing fear is something we must do alone.
As the story progresses, the hyena eats the zebra and the orangutan and is eventually taken by the tiger. The boy is left on the boat for a total of 227 days with the tiger. He learns eventually that he can no longer ignore the situation. He must confront it and tame the tiger.
3. Fear of Being Hurt or Dying
I had to tame him. It was at that moment that I realized this necessity. It was not a question of him or me, but of him and me.
In my opinion, we have to accept that fear- just like the tiger- is not going to go away. It is no longer about overcoming your fears, but realizing that they will never go away, and taming them. I do not know a single individual that has completely overcome fear. At best, we can recognize it, determine where it is holding us back, and move forward despite the fear we have.
None of us want to be hurt, or die. But, in the course of our lifetime, is it possible to avoid either of these? Unless you have some superhuman quality I don’t, we’re all going to end up scuffed up from time to time and heading to whatever lies beyond this lifetime. Consider it an adventure, and get on with it.
4. Fear of Failure
How does fear of failure get in your way? Are there areas in your life that you stopped short because you were worried that you were not up to the task?
One major realization I had that helped me move past the fear of failure was this: If I am living my life on purpose, and I am being assisted by the Universe…I can’t really ever fail. Because, in effect, I am representing the Universe.
This takes away my personal responsibility a little bit and helps me to relax and move forward despite my fear. I just pretend I am an agent of the Universe, and stop taking it so personally.
But, what do we do when fear and failure get the best of us? …When we are at our lowest lows, it is best to keep in mind this is just a test…
This is Just a Test
When we face adversity, we want to give up. We want to hide in bed. We want to do nothing. It doesn’t feel safe. We feel alone. We are struggling in an unpredictable situation with our teeth clenched and our fists raised.
But this is the test. The test is to see how we react in the face of fear. Are we going to tame it, or hide from it. Are we going to step up and work hard, or are we going to feel defeated? The test is to step up in the face of fear and to know down to our bones that we will survive. We will survive, no matter what it takes, and we will learn to look for the miracles and come to expect them, even in our most dire state. This, my friends, is how we tame our fears.
I was giving up. I would have given up—if a voice hadn’t made itself heard in my heart. The voice said, “I will not die. I refuse it. I will make it through this nightmare. I will beat the odds, as great as they are. I have survived so far, miraculously. Now I will turn miracle into routine. The amazing will be seen every day. I will put in all the hard work necessary. Yes, so long as God is with me, I will not die. Amen.”
Why do people move? What makes them uproot and leave everything they’ve known for a great unknown beyond the horizon? Why climb this Mount Everest of formalities that makes you feel like a beggar? Why enter this jungle of foreignness where everything is new, strange and difficult?
The answer is the same the world over: people move in the hope of finding a better life.
How far would you go to find a better life? To what extent would you allow yourself to reinvent your life and rediscover who you are and what you really want?
Taking off on a journey of self-discovery is the most rewarding thing you can do with your life. You will learn more about your old thought patterns and limiting behaviors, realize who you are away from other people’s expectations, and learn to let go of everything that is important to you. Many people fear being alone. But you can only truly discover who you are by taking yourself out of your normal environment and possessions and face your fears, head on.
I remember reading some time ago: do what you fear the most. I questioned this philosophy and came up with the idea that it made perfect sense. If you are afraid of doing something, it is an opportunity for growth. You have a reason to move forward and clear old behavior and renew yourself and your spirit. More becomes possible when you are able to remove the fear.
The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart.
I believe we are put here on this earth to live our mission and overcome our fears. Sometimes this comes to us in stages, but often times it comes to us through crisis. We become broken down by circumstance—which forces us to reevaluate our life. When these questions come, we want answers. But oftentimes, we are forced to move through challenging situations and find the answers through facing our fears.
Every single thing I value in life has been destroyed. And I am allowed no explanation? I am to suffer hell without any account from heaven? In that case, what is the purpose of reason…? Is it no more than to shine at practicalities—the getting of food, clothing and shelter? Why can’t reason give greater answers? Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in an answer?
I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. I have done some research on fear, and where it comes from. With each article I read, the theme is consistent: Fear is a perception that exists only in your imagination. If we imagine something to be scary, then we believe it is. The mind has no way of distinguishing between fanciful thoughts and reality. It is based on conditioning and experience. Therefore, the best way to conquer your fears is to change your mindset, and go through the experience. We mist learn to Tame the Fear.I had to tame him. It was at that moment that I realized this necessity. It was not a question of him or me, but of him and me. In the book, Life of Pi, the main character is traveling with his family via a large cargo ship from India to Canada. Pi is sixteen. His family has run a zoo and many of the animals on board are released when the ship begins to sink. He finds himself alone, on a rescue boat with some of the wild animals from the zoo. All in one moment, he was watching the boat sink with his family on board and trapped in a boat with a zebra, hyena, orangutan, and a Bengal Tiger. Imagine the fear and utter confusion you would feel in this situation!
As the story progresses, the hyena eats the zebra and the orangutan and is eventually taken by the tiger. The boy is left on the boat for a total of 272 days with the tiger. He learns eventually that he can no longer ignore the situation. He must confront it and tame the tiger.
When we face adversity, we want to give up. We want to hide in bed. We want to do nothing. It doesn’t feel safe. We feel alone. We are struggling in an unpredictable situation with our teeth clenched and our fists raised.
But this is the test. The test is to see how we react in the face of fear. Are we going to tame it, or hide from it. Are we going to step up and work hard, or are we going to feel defeated? The test is to step up in the face of fear and to know down to our bones that we will survive. We will survive, no matter what it takes, and we will learn to look for the miracles and come to expect them, even in our most dire state. This, my friends is how we overcome fear.
I was giving up. I would have given up—if a voice hadn’t made itself heard in my heart. The voice said, “I will not die. I refuse it. I will make it through this nightmare. I will beat the odds, as great as they are. I have survived so far, miraculously. Now I will turn miracle into routine. The amazing will be seen every day. I will put in all the hard work necessary. Yes, so long as God is with me, I will not die. Amen.
