The last time I was in Thailand was in 2003, right before the Tsunami hit. While many things have changed and most things look entirely different, there is one thing that has not: the people. The most refreshing thing about Thailand is the beauty of its people. For someone who has never been here, it is difficult to explain, however, I think it can be summed up by its saying “Mai Pen Rai”. This post will try to explain the definition of Mai Pen Rai, and how it is used in a variety of ways in Thailand.
“Mai Pen Rai”
What is the definition of Mai Pen Rai?
It is elusive in its meaning and description and can be understood to mean any of the following: never mind, it’s OK, it doesn’t matter, no worries, or it is what it is. This gentle acceptance of life that the Thais emit has made for a country that attracts travelers from around the world.
The Land of Smiles
Thailand is known as “The Kingdom” and “The Land of Smiles” and the signs of happiness are everywhere here. I had forgotten what it was like to see people so genuinely relaxed and happy. I hear people whistling, singing, and merrily humming to themselves as they go about their day. Having a tonal language, the words are literally sung here, as well.
People in Thailand are not just happy individually, they do something that many western cultures have forgotten, they share. Meals are shared, work is done in groups, and there is camaraderie instead of competition.
Expect a Smile, But Not an Explanation
“Mai Mee”
When something is out of stock, or has stopped working, it is “Mai Mee”, or Finished. Your hamburger might be as finished as your internet service, and there is no telling when or why. The Thais do not trouble themselves with the explanation or trying to make unknown guesses of remedying the situation into the unknown future.
Initially, I was annoyed by this, but then I came to appreciate the brilliance of the statement. When flashed a smile and told, “finished”, I have no unrealistic expectations to put in place. I no longer have to go through the mental crisis of trying to figure something out that I do not have the answers to. I can just accept it and relax.
Just TRY To Relax
“Sabai Sabai”
“Sabai”, or relaxation, is built into the Thai society. Restaurants and resorts have names like The Easy Room, Come Sea; Let’s Relax, and you will frequently see people sleeping on the job. The streets are dotted with signs for massage and reflexology and posters remind you to “Enjoy Unlimited in Your Life“. Even my phone texts me messages from Mr. Happy and reminds me emphatically when I refill my calling card, “Make sure every day is HAPPY and don’t forget to bring your HAPPINESS with you Everywhere!”
Westerners that have made Thailand their home all have the same story: “I was tired of the grind, and the stress.” After being here for just over two months now, I am finally starting to unwind from all the years of stress. I don’t even think I realized the amount of constant pressure I was holding onto until I got away.
Don’t Be So Serious
“Not Serious”
Being serious here, it is bad. Like an insult. I can now see it in my friends. All of my friends and colleagues first response to a ‘How are you’ in an email or IM responded with “BUSY” (they were all Serious). I would hear only of how busy they were, or how much work they had to do. And even though I am no longer there, I have still been feeling the pressure of needing to produce at lightning speed. My mind has a running audio loop of “I need to get my website updated; I still haven’t posted that blog; I need to figure out my internet”. Anything that is too serious here, should be laughed off.
Slowly Your Life
“Cha – Cha”
Part of coming to Thailand, well, is just generally slowing down. “Cha Cha” means to slow down. Us westerners want to rush Everything. I wanted to see the country at lightening speed. My brain has yet to register the fact that I am living here. I still have the mentality of a speed traveler, trying to see the whole country in couple of weeks.
Operating on overdrive and having the mentality of constantly trying to produce things runs deep in my psyche. But, really, what good does it do?
Thailand is Really, Really Good for us Heady, Stressy, Figure-Everything-Out Westerners (like me)
After being exposed to the “Mai Pen Rai” society, I have learned that the bulk of these items circling in my head really don’t need to happen right now. It is an unnecessary stress built up from years of trying to “push through life.”
We believe, “If I could just get this thing done, then I would be able to _____ (insert: Relax, Enjoy, Have the life I’ve always wanted). And, just because everyone else around us is playing the same game, we choose to participate.
But, the reality is, this is simply a choice.
I’m convinced that the Thai culture was blessed by their “Mai Pen Rai” attitude. They are relaxed enough to take a midday nap (anywhere). They are smiling when you look at them because they aren’t thinking of the eighty-million other places they ‘need’ to be. They are working together. They are enjoying their days, as well as their moments. The culture, in essence, is present.
So when you find yourself racing around, trying to swim upstream, or generally trying to fight the way of the world, remember the phrase, “Mai Pen Rai”. Tell yourself to slow down, and just let yourself be “finished’.
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