Feeling fear is an interesting topic. It is much like Stress; it can be real or imagined. We may feel fear because of an experience that has happened in the past which triggers fear in the present. We might feel fear of uncertainty, or fear of the unknown. Or, we may even be frightened of doing what we’ve always wanted to do with our lives—a kind of nervous excitement, if you will.
The main reason I wanted to write this post is that in our minds, we don’t tend to differentiate between these types of fear. We just feel the fear and STOP.
Fear is debilitating. It keeps us at a distance. It stops us from moving forward. It holds us back.
Our natural instinct when we begin to feel fear is avoidance. Many people will go to unnatural extremes to avoid their fears, rather than dealing with their fear, and moving forward. This is what today’s post is going to be about.
Recognizing when you are Feeling Fear
The first step is to stop and recognize your fear. By acknowledging that it exists, you give yourself permission to begin to deal with it.
Identifying Your Fear
After you’ve acknowledged it, it is time to find out where it is coming from.
- Is this a fear based on something that has happened in the past?
- Is this a fear of the unknown future outcome?
- Is this a fear of becoming more yourself?
Moving Towards Your Fear (NOT AWAY FROM IT!!)
PAST FEARS: Try to recognize if the fear is based on something significant that happened in the past. If so, begin to rationalize that When This Happened, It Was an Isolated Event. Just because something happened once, doesn’t mean it will always happen that way. Move forward mentally by visualizing same situation with new outcomes.
FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN: Oftentimes what holds us back is the fear of not knowing. The funny thing about this fear is this: How will we ever know unless we move forward?? Try moving forward in small steps by doing what’s in front of you. Don’t get overwhelmed by the “Big Picture”, just do what you can now, and then do what’s next later.
FEAR OF BECOMING YOURSELF – OR GETTING WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED: This is the most fascinating one. We want something, Really Bad, and yet, we keep it as a “Future Fantasy”. Why would we do that? The reason is simpler than you might think: We are afraid of failing at what we Really Want. The thought of failing at something we deeply care about is So Strong that we do nothing, and just keep the idea, experience, money, relationship, career, success at bay. It is safer to have the fantasy then the reality.
But, here is the thing: We Will Always Want it to Become a Reality. So, why not go for it? It isn’t going to go away—Ever! So why not start moving towards it, despite the fear, and bring what we’ve always wanted into our lives now?
Getting Over Your Fears
About a month ago, I realized that I was stuck in my fears. I knew there were things that I wanted (and have ALWAYS wanted) to do. Suddenly, I got overwhelmingly annoyed with myself and my internal voice firmly declared:
I’m going to go do everything I’m afraid of, I’ll be right back.
Off I went into the night. I signed up for my Dive Master course, I phoned a climbing instructor and arranged a Lead Climbing course, and I went for a long motorbike drive down dark streets I’ve never been on before. When I returned, I sent an email out for moving forward with a big project I’ve been working on that scares the hell out of me.
And then, a funny thing happened. I felt Refreshed, Energized, and Relieved.
Surprisingly, it didn’t even take that long! In less than an hour, I had faced all of my fears and made progress towards many of the lifelong goals I’d been effectively ‘saving for later’.
What are some of the fears you could start moving towards now?
