Today I want to share something with you that might be the biggest breakthrough that I’ve ever had related to work. If you want to change your life, change your attitude about work. But first… a little history.
Working as a Child
For as long as I can remember, I worked. My parents would put us to work in the yard, I’d work on weekends, I got a job very early, and of any of my friends. I was the only one that worked. In college, I worked. I was also leading recreational trips for the university, on the rowing team, and taking a full load of classes. None of my other friends worked. But I did.
This created two situations for me. One was that I began to resent work. It was always getting in the way of what I wanted to do. I couldn’t go to parties, events, or occasions because I was always working. I missed out on a lot: concerts, birthday parties, movies, days with friends, trips, you name it.
Always Wanting to be Done
The second situation that it created that I wasn’t aware of until much later was this constant need to be “done”. I wanted to be done with school, so I could be done with work, so I could go out with my friends. I was always pushing on to the next task, trying to “finish” everything, to hurry up so I could relax.
It wasn’t until I moved to Thailand that I realized the effects that these issues had created for me. Early on, I had learned how to work and be responsible. But I’d also learned to resent my work. I’d pushed through activities trying to force myself ahead, looking forward to the time that I could finally be done and relax. But, as a business owner, when are you ever done? Is there ever really a point you reach where you throw your hands up in the air and yell, “Eureka! I’m finished! My work here is done!”?
Can I Relax?
Anyway, back to arriving in Thailand… so when I first moved down to the beach, I realized that I could relax. I had enough money coming in to cover my expenses each month, and a whole lot of time on my hands. So, while I wasn’t quite done, or finished, I had gotten myself to a point where I could slow down, relax, and take it easy.
In theory.
Because I didn’t know how.
Yes, that’s right, I didn’t know how to relax.
I tried everything. Going to the beach, I went for a massage. Then, I read books. From the outside, I looked like a relaxed person. But on the inside, I wanted to do something! I’d go to the beach but couldn’t lie still. I would pick up a book, and be done in one day. I’d have an idea and write it all out. On days where there was nothing to do, I got anxious. I wanted something to do. And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me:
OMG. I am a worker.
I am not a sitter, a lazy person, a lurker. I am a busy-body, a creative producer, a worker. I like forward momentum, I crave movement. I love learning and challenges and reaching new heights. I enjoy pushing myself mentally and physically and strengthening my mind to reach new levels of achievement.
Change Your Attitude About Work
What I then realized was that I needed to change my relationship with work. The idea of ‘work’, the reaction of ‘work’, what I got from ‘work’, and my experience with ‘work’ all needed to change. I had physiologically been resisting work. And, as a worker, this was a very silly thing to do!
The first thing I did was to reassess my situation. I had created the “4-hour workweek” because I thought that was what I wanted. I now knew that is not what I wanted, and it was time to do something different. I needed to create new truths. Here were my new truths:
I am a worker, I like creating results, I like earning extra money, I like reaching new financial goals, I enjoy helping others. I can help more people, and my life will improve.
Adding Incomes
So, if you are a worker, and you can learn to get over resisting it, great things can happen. You can begin to add additional incomes. You may realize, just as I have, that it is not about plowing through your work, trying to get everything done and get it over with, but rather, about reaching out to others in new ways.
Creating Balance
Because you are a worker, it is difficult for you to create balance. You tend to “plow full steam ahead” or work yourself into exhaustion. This is something that I have witnessed in my life, as well as my client’s. You need to put a schedule in place (or overlapping activities) that create balance. Otherwise, you will continually work until exhaustion (or explosion) and have to waste time on the recovery process each time (I talk more about this in my free eBook if you haven’t checked it out, do).
One way I’ve found to do this is to spend more time doing enjoyable hobbies. I can work hard on my business, and then go out diving. I’m working towards my Dive Master certification, but the diving itself helps me to relax, focus, and be more in the moment. Are there activities in your life that help you feel relaxed?
Helping Others
I have always been in fields that helped others. I like helping others, watching them learn, grow, and excel. It makes me happy to know that I’ve played some small part in helping others accomplish their dreams. Once I accepted the fact that I was a worker, I realized what this really meant was that I wanted to help more people. I have since tried to channel this energy into activities and efforts that will help more people. One of the big projects I’m working on right now to create my video course does just that. And, because I’ve changed how I think and feel about work, I am really enjoying the process.
Rewarding Yourself
Lastly, we need to remember to reward ourselves. As “workers”, we tend to finish one thing and just go straight on to the next. This always leads us back to burnout, so one thing I’ve started to do is to build in big rewards for myself. My biggest reward is travel. I love visiting new places, spending time with friends in old places, and taking adventures around the world. So, that is how I set up my rewards. I recently hit a major milestone and rewarded myself with a trip to Bali. I will be done writing the coursework and curriculum for DNA in June, and I’m doing a RTW trip.
The fun part of this is that I’ve accepted that I am a worker. I am going to work, and I am going to work on projects I care about with people I want to succeed. I can do this work without the resentment of “having to be somewhere” or “needing to get it finished”. Because I don’t have to waste all that time and energy on resentment, I move forward faster. Realizing the benefits of multiple incomes, creating balance, helping more people, and taking time to reward myself properly.
I hope by sharing this I have gotten you to think a bit. I hope if you realize that you are a worker, you can put these practices in your life, and begin to experience a whole new way of being who you really are!!
My funny work-station in Bali. Everything you need within 5 paces!
